dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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