Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
And then he peed in my hair
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