Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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