Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
