No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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