Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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