Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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