I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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