I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize