If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize