There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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