your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
