I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
