What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
