Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Hippo gnu deer
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
