I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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