Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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