i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
