I hate your face
youre lurking in front of me
I have demons in me.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
