i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
