my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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