yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Randomize
