the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
