yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
