I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
