I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she told me i tasted like america
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
