Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
