Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
