I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
