Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
