I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
