Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
