If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
