mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
3 2 1 whiskey
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
