I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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