Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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