So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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