Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize