i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
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I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
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Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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