my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
