Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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