yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize