I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
