omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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