ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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