it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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