Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Is it because I queefed?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
