so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
