And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
