Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
