we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
