You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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