I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She told me I should be a condom model.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize