He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
