According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize