I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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