How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
