she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
