Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
