it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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