Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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