Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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