We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
pray to the hookup gods
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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