I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
