Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
