Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize