I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I am naked and annoyed.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
