so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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