Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
